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Gracious Words
Gracious Words
Terri A. McMurray
From a young age, we are instructed in our treatment of others. Small children have to be taught what not to do. Don’t take their stuff, don’t be bossy, don’t push, don’t yell, don’t hit, don’t touch that; the list could go on and on. That principle follows us into our adult lives and often it ends there. We go through life with our list of do’s and don’ts and check off the requirements. No cursing, check. Didn’t kill anyone today, check. Oftentimes we focus in on what not to do and neglect what we should be doing instead. Eph 4:29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. No corrupting talk came out of my mouth today, check. But did I tear anyone down that I thought was a little too full of themselves? Did I respond with sarcasm & insults to a critical voice? How easy it is not to respond with grace. In a culture full of self-interest, building others up looks weak.
Grace is usually seen as something we receive from God, but Paul tells us in Eph 4:29 and Col 4:6 that grace is something we are to be giving to others with our speech. In Merriam-Webster, grace is defined as 1. unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification, and 2. a disposition to or an act or instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency. Our speech is to be so it regenerates others, not cutting them off at the knees. Yes, they may have set themselves up for a fall, but we are to grant clemency. Pro 16:24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Pro 12:25 Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad. If we are to let only speech that is good for building up come from our mouths, we need to take other’s emotional & spiritual health into consideration.
Do we give grace when we correct others conduct? Eph 4:15 Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, Speaking the truth is essential to leading others to Christ, but when we leave out love, they may quit seeking Him. 1Th 2:7 But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. Are you that gentle with your brethren or those you are leading to Christ? A nursing mother spends the greater part of her day seeing to her infant’s needs. There is a time when a child needs to learn hard lessons, but the time of infancy is not it.
Often lessons on the tongue are focused on slander, gossip, lying, and deceit. If you find yourself guilty of these, you need to correct the matter; however, more often than not we can mark them off our list. Didn’t spread any rumors today, check. We read James 3 and feel a little self-righteous. MY lips don’t speak poison. Has following the letter of the law ever been pleasing to God? Mat 15:8 ‘This people honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me… It’s not enough to judge our approval from God based solely on the things we don’t do. He requires more. Hos 6:6 For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. Giving grace to others through our speech is dependent on love. A tongue of grace and love seeks opportunity to build others up in lieu of tearing them down, strives to decrease anxiety and bring forth healing, has a disposition of kindness and forgiveness. Mat 12:34 …For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
